BLOOD ANGELS

Directed by Ron Oliver
Written by Brett Thompson & Lisa Morton
Cinematography by David Pelletier
Music by Peter Allen
Cast: Lorenzo Lamas, Leah Cairns, Siri Bariuc, Shawn Roberts

2004/97 min/Color/2.0 Stereo
1.85:1/English/ US/NTSC Region 1

Review from Screen Film Media DVD

We begin with a prologue narrated by a guy who sounds so serious, that it is impossible not to giggle. In it, we learn about the demon Belial and the Necronomicon. Belial is an all powerful demon, but his name was forgotten and the book, thought to be lost. Anyway, the action soon starts as six vampire babes, who are chained up in a room and fed a fake looking dead rat, try to escape. One of them gets killed, but the other five blood-sucking beauties mange to escape. One of the vamps, the lovely Leslie (Leah Cairns), goes to meet her cute little sister, Ashley (Siri Baruc), and saves her form would be rapists. She takes her to a bar/ club ran by another of the hottie vamps, Marlena (Sonya Saloma). All five of them live and keep the place going. Ashley is going to stay with them. Meanwhile, a lame ass Asian dude, Jeff (Kevan Ohtsji), who acts like a wanna-be rapper and calls women bitches, goes to said club with his nice guy, white cousin, Jim (Shawn Roberts). Jim immediately has the hots for Ashley. Leslie wants to tell her the truth about herself and the others, but unfortunately their evil master Mr. Jones (Lorenzo Lamas) is really pissed off. They need to use to the Necronomicon to raise Belial and be free of their master. They need for him to turn them into full vampires as they are only thralls and lack many of the powers full vampires have.

This immensely fun filled shot on video flick is sure to be pleasure for all who see it. The film is quite funny, and for the most part, intentionally so. It also moves at a breakneck and is never boring, or takes itself too seriously. The acting by the cast is adequate enough, although Lamas is absolutely terrible in his role, as the lead baddie. But he is so bad that it is completely amazing and utterly hilarious! Sure the film is rather silly at times, but the vampy heroines are quite likable and the whole thing is just a great way to kill some time and enjoy oneself. Just don’t expect a masterpiece, and you will be set.

There is also a very cool title sequence that runs over religious and satanic imagery. But just be warned; just before the end titles appear there is a horrible rap video that cannot be saved even with hotties in it.

The women are drop dead gorgeous. My personal favorites are the bartender, Buzz (Lisa Marie Clarke) and the sexy and exotic looking Brigitte (Monica DeCain). Sadly, only of these beauties gets nude, the lovely DJ Roxie (Fiona Scott), who shows her nice rack. The rest do, though, wear some nice skimpy and proactive outfits.

The CGI are absolutely horrid, being on the Playstation One level of quality. Fortunately, the make-up FX are quite good, with nifty looking fangs and cool gore. Amongst the choice moments of bloodletting are: spine-ripping, heart ripping and munching, impalings, and other nice setpeices, including a very memorable, blood-spurting blowjob by the aforementioned Ms. DeCain.

Screen Media brings us BLOOD ANGELS in its 1.85 aspect ratio. The picture quality is uneven. In dark scenes, the blacks come off as too soft. Meanwhile, in brightly lit scenes, with white backgrounds, the movie looks too soft. Yet, in other scenes the movie has some nice bright colors. This is, of course, due to the fact that the film is shot on video, albeit digital video. The sound comes off as nice and clear.

There are no extras in the film, aside from trailers for EVIL REMAINS and THE LIFE, which cannot be accessed from the menu. Instead, they play when you hit “play” on the menu. Said menu, though, is nicely animated for its main section. The disc comes in keep case with a sexy and rather cool cover. Inside is an inlet card listing all twelve chapters of the DVD.

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Review by Giovanni Deldio. All Right Reserved. 2006. ©